


Of Mercy and Wrath

by xbetterthanrevengex



Series: Surviving Somehow [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: All Out War Arc (Walking Dead), Alternate Canon, Canon Compliant, Carl Grimes Lives, F/M, Gen, Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-09-15 11:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16932813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbetterthanrevengex/pseuds/xbetterthanrevengex
Summary: To win a war, Ava wonders what they will have to lose.





	1. Clash

_The sound of the front door closing made Ava slowly open her eyes. Soft sunlight shone through the window, casting the bedroom in glorious morning light. She yawned, moving her hand to the other side of the bed only to find it empty. Ava wasn’t worried about the missing person._

_In fact, Ava wasn’t afraid at all. Not anymore._

Organized chaos was the only way to describe Alexandria as the residents prepared for the day ahead. They had been planning for a week – hammering sheets of metal to cars to turn them into shields, evenly distributing ammo and weapons to those who could use them, performing dry run after dry run. It was a lot to do and yet, on the day of action, it felt quiet. Routine.

Which was why Ava was sitting on her porch steps, head bowed in in silence. She didn’t want this to feel like a routine. This was a war at the end of the world, and there was nothing normal about that.

Ava closed her eyes as she tilted her head back, taking a breath before opening them and looking straight on. A small smile formed on her face as she watched Enid talk to Carl, their fingers intertwined as the boy nodded along to her words.

Rick had told Ava that Carl wasn’t happy about being left behind – especially after he found out that Enid was going.

_“Does he know she’s leaving with Maggie?” Ava asked, hoping to make it easier for the father._

_“He knows.” The corner of Rick’s mouth turned up in amusement, “That’s not what he’s upset about.”_

Ava understood; Carl wanted to be there for Enid – more than he wanted to see the end of Negan. She wondered if Enid knew about his feelings; Ava got her answer when she watched Enid give him a soft kiss before whispering again. Ava was just about to try her hand at reading lips when the feeling of fingers running through her ponytail made her lose focus.

She smiled, not needing to look to know who it was.

“Mornin’.”

Ava looked up, waiting. “Good morning.”

Daryl leaned down to meet Ava’s lips in a kiss, the pair able to feel the other’s smile. While her days were spent preparing for war, her mornings and evenings were filled with Daryl’s voice – his lips stirred her awake with joyful laughter, and they usually ended the day with a warm shower. For someone who had never done “something like this” before, he certainly was a quicker learner.  

It was as if he was always there – a missing puzzle piece. And, judging from the way he came to her house at the end of the day, Ava had a feeling he felt the same.

“Are you heading out?” Ava asked, noticing his bike keys in his hand.

“Yeah.” He grumbled, “Carol called in. She, Tara, and Morgan are heading to the highway now.”

Ava nodded. While most of them were going to the Sanctuary, Daryl and the others were directing a herd towards Negan’s base – to trap the Saviors until they got desperate enough to surrender. Ava got to her feet, her hand in Daryl’s as they made their way to his motorcycle.

It looked like everyone was saying their goodbyes now; Ava grinned as Rick and Michonne shared a kiss, the woman still healing from her fight. Daryl climbed up onto the motorcycle, checking his belongings before turning to Ava.

“You’re coming straight back here after?”

“Unless something else happens, yeah.” Ava confirmed, “We’re going to need capable people in case any of the Outposts catch on.”

They may be trapping the main Saviors today, but they still have walkies and ways to communicate. Even though Rick planned for them to start taking out the outposts today, if word were to get out about the attack, Ava was sure they would release a message of warning. Perhaps one that would lead to retaliation on the communities. Ava wanted – needed – to protect what they built.  

Daryl agreed, “I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“C’mere.” 

Ava didn’t need to be told twice as they collided into a kiss once more. Ava tried not to let her mind wander to the worst-case scenario; that this could be the last time she saw him. Daryl would be fine, that’s what she kept repeating to herself.

Little did she know that he was doing the same.

“Wow, get a room.”

The two separated to see Enid standing on the other side of the cycle, an amused smirk on her face. She had been staying in Alexandria for a week and Ava was grateful for the time they got to spend together – almost like old times. However, she was also grateful that Enid knew when to give her privacy – mainly, privacy with Daryl. 

Ava rested her hand on her hip, a mock-accusing look in her eye.

“I should be telling you that.” She nodded towards Carl, “Did he ask you to ‘go steady’?”

“Shut up.” Enid rolled her eyes, but Ava didn’t miss the blush on her cheeks as she look towards Daryl, “Don’t be dumb out there.”

“Same to you.” Daryl echoed, “You listen to your sister and Maggie.”

It wasn’t a request and Ava felt a swell in her chest. It was nice to have a partner when it came to Enid, someone to share the load.  The two had gotten to know each other while Ava was away, and they only grew closer after she returned.

Seeing the seriousness in Daryl’s expression, Enid nodded.

Daryl lifted his fist and the pair met in a fist bump. Ava smiled, putting an arm around Enid as Daryl kicked up his stand. With one last nod, he took off and Ava watched until she could no longer see him through the open gate. Enid looked up at her sister, noticing the expression of doubt painting her face.

Enid patted her wrist, making Ava look down at her. “He’ll be okay.”

“Yeah.” Ava sighed before turning to Enid, putting both her hands on her shoulders. “And he’s right. We’re sticking to the plan – the minute the bullets start flying, you get in Maggie’s car.”

“I will, I promise.” Enid sounded exasperated, “As long as _you_ promise to stick to your plan.”

She nodded, “It’s only fair.”

After a moment, Rick called for everyone to move out. Ava rested a hand on Enid’s back, the two making their way towards the line of cars. She smiled as she passed Michonne, the two holding hands for a moment before sliding out of the grip. Ava patted Carl on the hat, a grin on her face.

“Keep this place in one piece while we’re gone.”

“I will.” He smiled as he adjusted his hat, “It’s my show, after all.”

Ava nodded towards him before sliding into the driver’s seat, noticing the small smile on Enid’s face. Yeah – if Enid had to fall in love, Ava was glad it was with Carl.

* * *

_The kitchen was empty when Ava descended the stairs. Judging by the fact that the only thing on the counter was a piece of paper, Ava figured they left after cleaning up. She picked up the note:_

**_You needed a break. Come to Rick’s when you’re ready. –D_ **

_Ava smiled down at the paper and was about to head towards the door when she paused. Maybe one cup of coffee without being interrupted wouldn’t hurt._

The morning sun cascaded across the open field, warming Enid’s skin as she triple-checked her ammo. Granted, she only needed a few bullets since she would be running to Maggie’s car the moment the shooting began, but Enid wanted to be prepared for everything.

She wanted to be able to protect Ava and Maggie – if she needed to. Enid looked over at her older sister, busy pouring over a map with Rick and Ezekiel. Ava’s feelings towards the war didn’t go unnoticed by Enid – she saw how Ava listened to the leaders’ speeches, how she only nodded when everyone else cheered.

This was a job to her – nothing to celebrate, just something that had to be done.

 Enid agreed – for the most part. Before the end of the world, she considered herself a pacifist. A part of her thought that this was a waste of time and potential – Negan and the Saviors needed to pay, but Enid wondered if there was another way to do that which wouldn’t risk the lives of the communities. She thought she was alone in her stance instead she spoke to Carl earlier.

_“This isn’t enough.” Carl shook his head after expressing his worry for Enid’s safety, “Working together…it’s going to take more than just fighting.”_

_“You’re right,” Enid looked up from their intertwined hands, “But this is how we can get to that place to figure it out.”_

_He sighed, “I just…I hope there’s something after.”_

Something after. Once the Saviors are gone, Ava and Rick believed that the rest of the communities would have a bright future, but Enid and Carl knew better. There would be a new threat, another war – and what if they didn’t have the numbers?

“Dude.” Jerry – a man from the Kingdom – interrupted Enid’s anxieties over the future, Sternum.”

Enid glanced down at the chest guard in his outstretched hand. She appreciated the thought, but she wouldn’t be at the Sanctuary for long. Someone else would need it more.

Her tone was kind, “I’m leaving with Maggie.”

Jerry gave her an expectant look but didn’t have time to reply when Ava came walking over, sharing a look with the man before turning to her sister.

“Enid.”

Knowing that tone all too well, Enid accepted the guard from Jerry, making the man grin. He began to head towards Ezekiel, Ava giving him a nod as she walked past her.

“Thanks.”

Jerry patted her shoulder, “We’re all in this together, right?”

Ava smiled as he walked away. Enid waited until Jerry was a fair distance away before handing the guard over to Ava. The older sister furrowed her brows.

“You need it more than me.” Enid reasoned, “I’m leaving the moment shit starts going down.”

“First of all, language.” Ava warned, making Enid roll her eyes. “Second of all, a lot can happen in a single moment. Please wear it.”

Knowing that Ava wouldn’t budge, Enid began to pull the protection on. Ava slid her gun in her holster before making her way behind her, helping Enid button the guard. Enid bit her bottom lip.

“This is going to be the last time we see each other for a while.”

Ava paused for a moment. She didn’t think about that – while Enid would be going to Hilltop, she would be heading back to Alexandria. Most of the communities’ armies were heading on different missions, and it wasn’t like they could call and check up on each other. Ava took a breath as Enid turned around.

“I’ll see you after this is over.” She tried to reassure despite her own doubts, “That’ll be tomorrow morning.”

“Only if they surrender.”

“They will.” Ava spoke plainly, “You have to stay positive.”

“Kind of hard to do that when it’s about killing people.”

Ava pursed her lips – on one hand, she was glad that Enid wasn’t cold when it came to kill the living. When they were on the road, Ava feared that she would become numb – Alexandria really did her some good, both good. However, Ava believed in self-defense and the Saviors were dangerous. Even if they didn’t go to the Outpost first, Negan still would’ve found them, and they would still be in the same situation. This needed to get done.

“We’re sparing as many as we can.”

It wasn’t a lie. Rick and the other leaders were adamant about keeping the lower works alive – especially after hearing from Ava, Daryl, and Carl’s experiences within the Sanctuary. They were the ones who were just trying to get by while Negan and his army lived large. Enid nodded.

“We should start thinking about how hard it’s going to be to build a future with people who only see us as the ones who killed their friends and family.”  

Ava opened her mouth to respond, but a male voice beat her to it. “We have to get that far first.”

Rick stopped in front of the pair, gun in his hands and a spring in his step. Ava noticed his confidence blooming these past few weeks. Gone was the man who was subjugated by Negan, he was ready for a fight. Ava nodded, hoping would have a better explanation for Enid.

“One step at a time.” She glanced at Enid, “Right?”

“I guess.” Enid glanced between the pair before looking at Ava, “I’ll meet you by the car.”

Ava gave her a small pat on the shoulder before watching her go with sad eyes. A small part of her ate away at the fact that she knew Enid was right. It would be hard to build a future with whoever was left, but they needed to try.

“It’s good knowing that the future is going to have people like Enid and Carl.” Rick spoke up, making Ava note that he felt the same.

“Yeah.” Ava agreed but couldn’t help give a dramatic sigh, “She’s right, though. Whatever is left of the Saviors, they may not be so willing to work with us.”

“We’ll figure it out when we get to that point.” He reassured, and Ava wondered if he had even thought that far ahead. “For now, let’s just get through today.”

Just get through today – wasn’t that already everyday?

* * *

_Preparations for the upcoming Festival were keeping everyone in Alexandria busy. As Ava made her way to the Grimes’ household, she made sure to wave and send her morning greetings to her friends – both old and new. She recognized a few people from the Kingdom and Hilltop, all willing to help their neighbors prepare for the widespread community celebration. It was nice to see everyone come together to create instead of destroy._

_“Morning Ava.”_

_Ava smiled as she walked towards Eugene, the man busy collecting – and inspecting – a basket of apples._

_“Hey, Eugene.” She greeted, nodding towards the basket, “You got saddled with dessert duty, huh.”_

_“I’ll have you know I make an excellent apple pie.” He informed in his formal tone, however, his eyes darted to the side. “A little help would be nice, though.”_

_She giggled knowingly, “We’ll come by later, if you’ll have us.”_

_“Of course.”_

The ride to the Sanctuary was quick and smooth. Dwight had made sure to give them a route where the patrols would be lacking, even clearing the way for the Survivors to take out a few of the Sanctuary’s snipers as they rolled up. Once Maggie parked the car in its designated spot, and made sure the metal shield was strategically placed, Ava and Enid followed the leader out of the vehicle. The sisters stood together behind a shield, Ava closer to Rick while Enid stayed near Maggie – ready to take her leave when needed.

Maggie raised her hand, everyone taking that as a sign to get their guns out. Ava angled her pistol upward, taking one last glance at Enid. Although her little sister would never admit it, Ava could tell she was nervous, her knuckles white as she clutched onto her pistol. Ava offered her a reassuring nod, a silent way of telling her that they had this – for once, they had the advantage on Negan, and Enid smiled back.

Maggie put her hand down, signaling everyone to begin shooting up into the sky – a doorbell.  Ava stared at the door on the factory’s balcony, waiting. It only took a moment for the door to open, Negan stepping out first as his lieutenants – and Eugene – made their way outside.

“Well, shit.” Negan grinned as he paced – a predator observing his prey, “I’m sorry – I was in a meeting.”

“Dwight, your name’s Simon.” Rick jumped right into it, not giving Negan the satisfaction of a lecture. “You’re Gavin…and you?”

The female Savior narrowed her eyes, “Regina.”

Eugene sheepishly stepped forward, “Rick, I would be remiss-.”

“No!” Rick’s booming voice made Ava flinch, “I know who you are.”

After Ava filled the group in on Eugene’s turn, all of them had ran out of respect – and patience – for the man. Ava was relieved that they knew better than to try to flip a coward back to their side. However, that didn’t stop the anger from boiling inside her as she stared at him – she would never understand how he could stand by Negan after knowing, and seeing, everything he had done.

“So they surrender and your little Piss Patrol doesn’t kill ‘em.” Negan mocked being impressed at Rick’s surrender outreach, “That sounds like a good deal – what about me, Rick?”

“You know what’s going to happen.”

“I do know what’s going to happen – you don’t!” Negan pointed at Rick, “You have no idea the shit I’m about to rain down. Tell me something, do you think you have the numbers for this fight?”

Rick was silent and Ava knew he was mulling over Negan’s words. All the communities may be working together, but not every member was fighting. Meanwhile, Negan had fighters both at the Sanctuary and in his Outposts. He outnumbered them, but they had the skill – as long as they had that, they didn’t need a huge army.

At least, that’s what Ava hoped as Gregory stepped out onto the balcony.

“The Hilltop stands with Negan and the Saviors.” Gregory announced, trying to look in control. “Any resident of the Hilltop that supports this ultimatum against the Sanctuary will no longer be welcomed into the Colony.”

Ava looked towards Enid and Maggie. She had to stop herself from laughing when she noticed Enid roll her eyes. It was no secret that Gregory lost control of Hilltop the moment Maggie and Sasha stepped through the gates. Clearly, the people made their choice as Jesus called out.

“The Hilltop stands with Maggie!”

Enid and Ava shared a smile that was quickly interrupted by an explosion in the distance. Ava perked up – that had to be Daryl. The herd was getting closer to the Sanctuary, and their window for surrender was quickly closing.

“This has to happen now.” Rick announced before smirking, “You’re going to make me count?”

As Rick began to count down, Ava got ready to shoot. Her preparedness came in handy when Rick began to shoot at seven, and Ava followed suit as they began to shoot out the windows. Ava thought about how she was once trapped in the Compound, how she would’ve killed to break a window to get out. This was cathartic, and Ava almost didn’t stop when Maggie called for everyone to take cover.

Ava slid behind a truck, the metal shield rattling as the Saviors got their bearings and began to shoot. They wouldn’t get to her, and that gave Ava the time to search for Enid. She was relieved when she saw her with Maggie, the two looking for their chance to get to their car. Ava whistled, gaining Enid’s attention.

“Once I start shooting, make a run for it!” Ava called over the chaos.

Enid quickly nodded, her eyes darting around the area. Ava could tell that she was shaken, but not frightened. The days before weren’t just spent putting shields and weapons together, Ava and Daryl also prepared Enid for what would come with the war; the bullets, the bodies dropping. Ava hated that she had to have that talk with her younger sister, but at least she didn’t have to do it alone.

Maggie was collected as she fired a few shots before locking eyes with Ava and nodding. Ava took that as a signal and poked out from the shield for a moment, taking a few shots to cover the pair as they ran towards their car.  Ava heard their car horn – a signal for Daryl’s group – but didn’t dare turn around.

Not because she was afraid of getting shot, but because she knew the moment she saw Enid, Ava would run to her.

* * *

 

Enid practically threw herself into the car, crawling over the driver’s seat and into the passenger side as Maggie took her own spot. Laying on the horn, the woman drove out of the Sanctuary’s front lawn, a line of cars following suit to leave the skeleton crew behind.

Enid couldn’t help but peer out the back window, her eyes landing on the shrinking form of Ava. Her older sister was focused, shooting towards the snipers in the windows before taking cover and running deeper into the Sanctuary’s yard. The selfish side of Enid had hoped that Ava would have changed her mind and came with them – but the cause needed her.

Even if Enid disagreed with it all.

“She’ll be home tonight.” Maggie reassured, “You know that.”

“Yeah,” Enid moped. “It doesn’t make it any easier, though.”

And neither did hearing an explosion from behind them.

* * *

 

The Sanctuary was dangerously silent as Ava rose from her crouched position. She took in the dust and debris around her, pieces of the dead now at her feet. It was all a result of the exploding RV – a play that signified the end of today’s battle and the beginning of the wait for surrender. Ava quickly hid from the walkers, watching as they prowled over the downed fence and into the Factory.

She tried not to think of all the innocents on the first floor, how they were all ill-prepared for a fight. Ava instead repeating Daryl’s words in her head: _“It’s the sacrifices that count the most.”_ She thought about that when her eyes found Rick, the leader desperately taking aim at a scrap of metal. Ava didn’t need to see for herself to know that Negan was behind there.

Judging from the sounds of bullets whizzing, it was clear that a few of the Saviors were able to get themselves put together enough to try to take aim at whoever was left. Knowing that he would be a main target – and the fact that he was out in the open – Ava took off running towards Rick. Once she reached him, she grabbed his arm.

“It’s time to go!” She yelled over the gurgles of the dead and bullets.

Rick heard her, but didn’t listen as he pulled his arm out of his grip. Ava grew angry as she delivered a punch to his shoulder. He whipped around, eyes burning with revenge.

“We got through today.” Ava repeated his earlier words to her, “It’s time for the next step, right?”

She was relieved when the leader softened, nodding along with her words. The last thing they needed was for this plan to go up in smoke due to personal vendettas. Once she was positive Rick would follow through, Ava ran towards the car she and Gabriel were assigned to take. The Priest was already in the driver’s seat, waving her down.

Ava ducked as she jumped into the vehicle, “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“Shit.”

Ava followed Gabriel’s gaze out into the yard, her spirit deflating at the sight of Gregory cowering away from the bullets. She had hoped that the tumble he took down the stairs would have taken him out. The jostling sounds of Gabriel in his seat made Ava abruptly turn towards him, annoyance and anger bubbling up inside of her when she realized what he was doing.

“You can’t be serious.”     

Gabriel prepared his weapon, “It’s the right thing to do.”

Ava sighed, wishing that he was wrong. Saving him would be what set them apart from Gregory – besides, Maggie should be the one to give out his punishment. That thought alone made Ava come up with a plan.

“I’m driving now.” She instructed, “The minute you two get back in this car, we’re taking off.”

 “Thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever.”  Ava rolled her eyes, “Go for it, Man of the Lord.”

Gabriel quickly got out of the car, shooting upwards towards the snipers as he made his way to Gregory. Ava quickly got into the driver’s seat, hands on the wheel and foot hovering over the gas. She thought about driving to them but it was too risky with all the bullets flying – someone was bound to catch a tire.

She let out a gasp when she saw Gregory running towards her, Gabriel nowhere in sight. Ava tried to lock the door before he came, but the cowardly man was too quick as he whipped it open.

“Scoot!”

“Where’s Gabe?!” Ava yelled, staying in her seat.

Gregory feigned innocence, "Who?"

“What did you do?!”

Before Ava could even register what was happening, Gregory grabbed her by arm and tugged her out of the vehicle. She had barely made impact to the dusty ground when Gregory took off, leaving them to die.

Ava cursed loudly. She should’ve fought Gabriel harder to leave Gregory behind – or at least come up with a better plan. Now, she was stuck avoiding bullets as she crawled towards the Priest. Gabriel made room behind his cover, looking just as pissed as Ava felt. She swallowed her anger as she reached for her gun, cursing to herself when she realized she must have dropped it in the car. After taking a moment to collect herself, Ava turned to Gabriel.

“Okay, uh, we can make a run for it.” She tried to plan, “Right through-.”

“Ava.” Gabriel stopped her, “They’re everywhere.”

It was then Ava took in her surroundings. The herd was descending on them – the brilliant herd that was meant to take down the Sanctuary was now going to feast on the two Alexandrians.

* * *

 

_When Ava walked into the Grimes’ backyard, she didn’t expect to see Enid and Carl lounging on the back porch. The surprise made her instantly giddy – with the pair taking over more for Maggie at Hilltop, the Ava never got a chance to see them unless she wanted to take a two-day trek on horseback; a hard feat with her own responsibilities at Alexandria._

_Once Enid spotted Ava, she scrambled off the chair and down the porch steps. “Ava!”_

_“Hey you!” Ava smiled as they met in a hug, “I thought I wouldn’t see you until the Festival.”_

_“Hilltop can be without us for the day.” Carl grinned as he walked over to them._

_Enid looked on as Ava and Carl embraced, a warm feeling taking over her. Like the rest of the group, she thought these days of nice visits and calm mornings were long gone, but here they were; not meeting for the sake of planning or a war…well, maybe a little bit of planning._

_“And I wanted you to be one of the first people to know…” Enid began._

_Before Ava could question what Enid was talking about, the younger sister held up her left hand to reveal a gold ring with a small diamond. Ava’s jaw dropped as she looked between the young couple. They had been living together at Hilltop for years now and Ava was thrilled that they finally made it official._

_“Oh my God!” Ava congratulated the pair with more kisses, “When’s the wedding?”_

_Carl put an arm around Enid as she answered, “The day of the Festival.”_

_“That soon?” Ava asked – it was only three weeks away._

_“We know everyone we care about will be there.” Enid explained, “And there will be food.”_

_Ava laughed. It would be less work for them, and for herself. She pulled her sister into another hug and kiss, which was interrupted by a familiar voice._

_“Man, I wanted to be here when you told her!”_

_Ava kept her arm around Enid as she turned to face a smiling Daryl, the man walking in with Rick and Michonne. Enid jokingly waved him off._

_“You were too slow!”_

_Before Ava could respond, a small voice spoke, “Mommy!”_

_Ava crouched down just in time to scoop up her son. Each day, it got harder to hold Thomas Dixon, and Ava hated to think that he was growing up too fast as the toddler hugged her by the neck. She kissed his wavy brown locks._

_“Were you helping your daddy out, peanut?”_

_“Uh-huh!” Thomas declared, “We caught a squirrel!”_

_“Really?” Ava looked to Daryl with raised brows._

_The man chuckled as he rubbed Thomas’ back, “Well, Rick and I did.”_

_Ava hummed as she pecked Daryl on the lips. Michonne and Rick brought out some lemonade and snacks, wanting to discuss the wedding more. Ava put down a squirming Thomas, smiling as he ran off with Judith to play in the yard. Daryl held her hand, bringing her over to the table._

_To her family._

The yard of the Sanctuary was crawling with the dead, the herd mindlessly making their way towards the doors and sounds of gunshots. Ava let out a grunt as she sliced a walker with her machete, kicking another one away before turning to Gabriel.

“Gabe?” She called over her shoulder, “How we doing?”

 While Ava was holding the dead off, the Priest was busy trying door after door. The closer they got to the main factory, the less luck they seemed to be having. The Saviors that were left were quick to go on lock down, and it wasn’t like they could knock.

“Not great – wait!”

Before Ava could question him, the man grabbed her wrist and pulled her along. Ava quickly kept up with his pace, swinging her blade at any of the dead that got too close. She was going to ask where they were going when a trailer came into view. They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Ava turned around to take care of a few of the stragglers.

“It’s open!” Gabriel called, relieved.

He held the door open, and Ava quickly ran inside the dark trailer. Gabriel followed closely behind before closing the door with a loud bang, locking it tightly. The pair stayed quiet, enjoying the silence. Ava leaned against the wall, closing her eyes as she caught her breath.

They could do this. They could get out of here and get back to Alexandria. They just need to wait for their moment, but for now, they were safe.

“ _Holy_ shit.”

 Ava’s eyes popped open, looking towards Gabriel. She hoped that those words came out of his mouth, but judging from his own look of shock, Ava knew she was wrong. Hell, Ava knew she was wrong from the beginning. Her stomach twisted into knots as Negan limped into the light, his smile big and eyes shining despite his Empire being destroyed. He chuckled, looking between the pair before keeping his gaze on Ava.  

“Today just got a little less shitty.” 


	2. Contained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava finds herself in a precarious position before Gabriel makes a decision for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time, no update. I know, I suck.  
> Life gets in the way, but I hope to become more frequent. Season 9 has given me a lot of inspiration.   
> Thank you for sticking with me <3

_The sunrise peaked through the curtains painting the room in a brilliant pink hue, but Daryl was taking in a different view. Ava’s head rested lightly against his chest, her even breaths tickling his bare skin, still coated in goosebumps from the night before. They had explored each other’s bodies as if they were charting new land – they kissed as if their lips held the last bit of water in the desert. Daryl wasn’t afraid when he finally took the leap, in fact, he had never felt more at peace. A peace he would never be ready to let go._

_“What’re you thinking about?”_

_Ava’s voice was soft as she looked up at him, her smile tired. Daryl ran his fingers up and down her spin as he thought about the answer. He was thinking about how he never felt this way before – how he thought he was never capable of this feeling until he got to know her. He was thinking about how a war was knocking at their door._

_He thought about how he left her in the Wolf’s Den – how he ran away from the Sanctuary to get home to her when all he needed to do was wait. But mostly, Daryl thought about how he would never let her get hurt again._

_Daryl didn’t answer with words. Instead he pulled her up towards him and kissed Ava, the two melting into each other once more._

They should be back by now.

That’s all Daryl could think as he paced between the trees. The plan was for Ava to catch a ride with Gabriel to the woods a few miles out from Alexandria to update Rick on the state of the Sanctuary before heading back to the Community.  However, when Daryl caught Rick looking at his watch for the fifth time, he knew that the plan had already changed in the leader’s mind.

He huffed – Rick may be assuming the worst, but Daryl wasn’t there yet as he stomped over to his friend.

“We can wait.” 

“You know we can’t.” Rick sighed as he ran a hand down his face, “She stopped to get me.”

Daryl could feel Rick’s guilt radiating off him, but he wasn’t angry at his friend. He was confused.

“How’s that?”

“Negan.” Daryl’s jaw tightened as Rick continued, “I was trying to kill him, and Ava stopped to get me.” 

A wave of anger came over Daryl – why wouldn’t Ava want Rick to finish Negan off? All of this could have been over. He looked towards Rick, noticing the man’s own solemn look.

“You alright?”

Rick raised a brow, “Are you?”

Daryl thought of Enid, and how he would have to be the rock if Ava didn’t come home.

“I have to be.”  

* * *

 

The trailer shook with each hit from the hands of the dead, but it wasn’t the noise that was making Ava’s stomach twist. She didn’t expect the leader of the Saviors to be stuck in the middle of a herd, let alone cornered in a trailer deep within the courtyard. Not when his people seemed so desperate to keep him alive.

But he didn’t have an army in here.

Ava’s grip on the machete’s handle tightened. She knew his death wouldn’t end the war immediately, but it would make a few of the Saviors surrender, and that was enough incentive for her to charge forward.

However, it seemed that Negan had the same plan as he barreled towards her, the man more agile than expected as he tackled Ava easily to the ground. The machete clattered to the floor as Negan straddled her hips, and Ava went to reach for her weapon only to have the man scoop it up.

“That’s easy.” He examined it for a moment before throwing it to the opposite end of the trailer.

Ava squirmed as Negan searched her form. He didn’t find much, except a box of ammo in her left boot. Ava bit the inside of her cheek as he grinned down at her, shaking the box.

“Bullets, but no gun?”

Ava’s gaze didn’t waiver from his, “I left it in the car.”

“The one that asshole stole from you?” Negan scoffed, “Why’d you go back?”

“She didn’t.”

Ava tilted her head slightly upwards, her breath hitching at the sight of Gabriel aiming his own pistol at Negan. Her heart sped up, waiting for him to take the shot. She quickly grew frustrated with the Priest – why wasn’t he taking the shot?!

Noticing his hesitation, Negan’s own nerves faded away, “Oh, come on.” He stood up with a smirk, Ava still laying between his feet, “The fact that you even have one bullet left is some cowardly shit.”

Ava may have been busy doing her own thing during the raid, but even she noticed that Gabriel didn’t fire his gun often – only when he was covering Gregory did he fire a few bullets. While Ava and the rest of the communities were shooting to kill, Gabriel was shooting to protect himself and others.

And he seemed to be continuing that trend as he held the gun out to Negan, the leader of the Saviors looking just as surprised as Ava felt.

“Wasn’t any point in firing it, I didn’t have enough.”

“You could’ve gone down fighting, you big baby.” Negan accepted the weapon, shoving it into the waistband of his pants before letting out a chuckle, “I’m just messin’ with you.”

Ava stared at the ceiling, unable to believe that this was happening. Gabriel had a shot, and he didn’t take it – in fact, he handed Negan their only chance of having the upper-hand. It was two against one, and yet, Ava has never felt so powerless.

“Let’s get you properly on your ass.”

 She glared at the gloved hand in front of her, pulling herself off the ground. Negan simply scoffed, but for once didn’t speak as he walked over to the corner of the trailer and sat down. With a groan, he stretched his long legs out and shot the pair one last look as he put a finger to his lips, signaling silence before closing his eyes.

Ava rolled her eyes and turned to Gabriel, only to see him doing the same.

“Seriously?” She hissed, whispering.

Gabriel’s tone was firm, but apologetic, “What other choice do we have?”

She hated that they were right. The herd was swarming them from all sides – and she didn’t see an emergency exit on the roof. Even if there was, Ava was sure she would be greeted with a bullet to the eyes from a Savior. Sighing, she sat next to Gabriel but, unlike the men, she kept her eyes opened. 

Ava kept her focus on Negan, wishing she had a trigger to pull.

* * *

 

_“We can use these now.”_

_Rick’s stare was cold as he gazed up at Daryl, “What?”_

_“Think about it.” Daryl continued, rummaging through the bag of explosives, “There ain’t no Kingdom no more. We blow open the Sanctuary, let the Walkers flood in and they’ll surrender. It’ll be over by sundown.”_

_Daryl needed this to be over. The quicker the war ended, perhaps the quicker he could get Ava home. They could start a life, and Enid would have a future. Rick got to his feet._

_“They have workers and families.” Rick hoped to get Daryl to listen to reason, “They’re not fighters, but they could be if they lose their best. If they all don’t surrender, hell, everyone will fight us. We’re not doing this.”_

_Daryl bit the inside of his cheek, his stare unwavering from Rick’s. He didn’t want innocent people  to die – but they were on the wrong side. Good people die in wars all the time – collateral damage was key to winning. The archer lightly punched Rick’s arm._

_“Nah – you ain’t doing this.”_

_He began to walk off, explosives still in his hand. Rick stalked after him, and Daryl could feel his anger against his back._

_“If this is about Ava, you know she wouldn't-.”_

_Before he could even finish, Daryl whipped around and delivered a punch to his face.  He wasn’t about to let Rick use her against him – it was a low blow. He had someone to fight for now, but he was doing this for everyone._

_At least, he thought he was when Rick tackled him to the ground._

 “You friend Rick is an asshole.”

She should’ve known the man wouldn’t stay quiet for long – especially if he wanted to spend their time trying to rile the pair up. Ava wasn’t about to engage, to give him what he wanted, but it seemed that Gabriel was ready to bite back.

“You’re an asshole.”

Ava rolled her eyes before closing them. She didn’t need to be apart of this useless back and forth – she would need all her strength to get out of here.

“Yep, I am.” Negan chuckled, “But he’s going to get people killed – I may have killed the widow’s husband and the ginger, but I didn’t get them killed. That was all Rick…and Daryl.”

 Ava glared at the leader, noticing his small smirk in her direction. He wanted to bait her, to bring out that fire he always talked about ever since she fired a bullet at him. Little did he know, Ava constantly thought about his statement. If they never went to the Outpost, perhaps none of this would have happened.

Sure, the Saviors would still be an issue, but Glenn and Abraham would be around. Maggie’s baby would have a father, and Abe and Sasha would live in peace.

“You know, you could try to be less predictable.”

Ava made sure to sound as condescending as possible – she wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine. Ava realized her attempt was futile as he smiled.

“Well, damn. You’re no fun today.” He glanced back towards Gabriel, knowing he would be a bit more open than Ava. “Let me ask you something – why did you become a Priest?”

Ava raised a brow before turning to Gabriel. She was always curious about Gabe’s path as well, but she didn’t want to overstep her boundary with him. Hell, they barely knew each other enough to have a boundary.

“I love God, and I love people – I wanted to bring them together.” Gabriel explained, “To help people through their weaknesses.”

“Well, look at that – that’s my thing.” Negan exclaimed, somewhat excitedly. “I like to help people through their weaknesses, too. Been doing it one way or another my whole life – that’s why people are going to start dying in there, because I’m not there to stop it.”

Ava scoffed, remembering how the Sanctuary worked from her own experience. Her time might have been limited, but she saw enough to understand what kind of leader Negan is versus the one he thinks he is. Ava tilted her head towards him.

“Okay, let me guess.” She began, “Human Resources?”

Ava was joking but she couldn’t deny that she was curious to know what kind of person Negan was before the world ended. As hard as she tried, Ava couldn’t see him living a normal life – it was the same way with Daryl. Some people were just meant for this world, more than they were for the one before.

“Please.” Negan chuckled, “I worked with kids. You have to show them the way, or little assholes become great big ones.”

“’Showing people the way’ and subjugating them isn’t the same thing.”

Negan shrugged, “They both give people purpose.”

“It makes them weak,” Ava shot back.

“I hate to break it to you, but everyone is weak.” Negan dryly responded. “You’re weak for caring about people.”

Ava glared but was unable to disagree. They were all weak one way or another, but it was their weakness that made them strong. Ava’s love for Enid, Daryl, and the rest of her fellow fighters could be considered a weakness, but it was where Ava got most of her strength. It was a double-edged sword. 

“You’re weak.” Gabriel’s tone was sharp, wanting to shut down the growing unease between the pair. “Killing the innocent.”

Ava was a bit shocked at how confident he was in the face of Negan. It was his first time truly having a conversation with the man, and Gabriel was calling the shots – even if Negan didn’t see it.  

“Right and goddamn wrong.” Negan chuckled, “I’m weak, but me ‘killing the innocent’? That ain’t why.”

Negan stood to his feet and made his way over to their side of the trailer, the action making Ava tense until a pair of rotten hands pushed through the boards – right where the Savior was sitting. Ava would’ve been impressed with his sense if she didn’t want him dead. He leaned against the wall with a grunt.

“We’ll wait a little bit longer, see if my people can pull it together.”

Ava stared at the hole in the trailer, the rotten flesh already leaving a stench within the room. They were running out of time, but the last thing Ava wanted to do was willingly follow Negan back into a cell. She glanced towards the dark end of the trailer – Negan had said there was only one way in and out which wouldn’t be a problem if they had a distraction.

If the dead had something to eat.

“Where are you going?” Negan asked when Ava stood up, “We were just about to join hands and sing.”

Ava rolled her eyes, “If your people haven’t gotten it together by now, it’s probably not going to happen.”

“You’re not going to find much.”

Ava didn’t answer, knowing she would find exactly what she needed.

* * *

 

_“There’s a plan.” Rick repeated, “We got to see it through.”_

_Daryl kept his gaze straight ahead, revving his bike. “We gotta win.”_

_“We will.”_

The sun was high in the afternoon sky when Enid decided to take a shift at Hilltop’s gate. Everyone from Hilltop who went to the Sanctuary was accounted for – except for the few who decided to go to the Outposts…and Gregory. In Enid’s mind, he was far from a loss.

She fiddled with the walkie talkie on her belt, waiting for it to buzz to life with a familiar voice. Ava had promised that she would radio in when she got out of the Sanctuary’s crossfire, but with each passing moment, the silence became deafening. When a car horn cut through the air, Enid’s heart sped with hope.

However, after peeking through her binoculars, her idealism was quickly squashed. When a guard called for Maggie, Enid descended the ladder, meeting the Hilltop's leader on the ground. The gate slightly opened, and Enid resisted the urge to scream.

“What are you doing with Gabriel and Ava’s car?” Maggie asked Gregory through the cracked gate. “Where are they?”

“Who?” Gregory shook his head, confused. “The car was just…there.”

“You’re a damn liar.” Enid couldn’t help herself, her blood boiling. “How can you expect us to trust anything you say after your stunt back at the Sanctuary?”

“Evelyn-.”

“Enid.” Maggie and Enid corrected him at the same time.

“Enid.” Gregory sighed, “No one was in that car, the keys were in the ignition. I was lucky.”

The younger girl didn’t say a word, only crossing her arms with a scowl on her face. Enid didn’t trust a word Gregory said - in her mind's eye, she could see the man taking advantage of the empty vehicle. 

“Let him in.”

Maggie’s words surprised Enid as the gates opened. She believed in second chances, but she didn’t believe that a man like Gregory could change. He was too set in his ways – too selfish. 

“You can’t be serious.” She hissed at Maggie in shock, “After everything he’s done?”

“He’s not worth killing – not yet.”

* * *

 

_With the shadows of the dead blocking the limited light from the windows, Ava had to resort to getting on her hands and knees. It had to be here – he had thrown it without much preamble, so it had to be close. A smile came over her face when she felt the handle of her machete. Not only could she get her and Gabriel out of here, but now she could end it._

_Keeping her booted feet light on the hard floor, Ava began her walk back towards the pair. However, Gabriel’s voice made her stop short in the shadows._

“Carl told us about your wives – the women you pressure into marrying you?”

The mere mention of Negan’s wives made Ava clutch onto the weapon harder. She wasn’t just doing this for her family, she was doing this for all the women that were under his boot. The women who helped her get out. From her spot, Ava could see Negan tense up as he gazed at ‘Lucille’ – the opposite of the smug reaction she was expecting.

“Every one of those ladies made a choice.”

“What about Ava?” Gabriel stepped closer to him, “Did you force her-”

“I’ve never pressured her into anything with me.” Negan growled, “I’ve killed men for pulling that shit – hell, I killed a man who tried to do that to her.”

Ava’s desire for an element of surprise was quickly shattered as she stomped over. The heavy steps made the men turn – Gabriel’s eyes went wide at the sight of the blade while Negan looked slightly impressed, if not a little annoyed that he was fooled. 

“You told me you would go easier on Alexandria if I gave you ‘my company’.” She spat out, “How is that not pressuring me?”

“You made the choice.” Negan shot back, “Sure, I wouldn’t have been too pleased to see such a waste of potential, but if you said no –“

“Then it would’ve just been back to the drawing board, right?” Ava interrupted, “Find another way to break me.”

Negan didn’t answer, and Ava could see his jaw clench in frustration – frustration that he knew she was right. She let out a humorless laugh.

"Yeah, you need to face it." She pointed the blade towards him. "You're not helping the weak, you're destroying the strong."

Her eyes never leaving his as the tension grew thick. However, she didn’t see malice in his eyes, she saw hurt. Pain. Emotions Ava had no idea he could express.He opened his mouth, as if ready to say something, but never got the chance when he quickly turned around. Gabriel made a move for the gun in Negan’s pants, firing it only to miss. Ava didn’t waste anytime running into the fray, swiping the blade close to the Negan’s stomach.

Despite the surprise attack, he was quick as he jumped out of the way before driving the handle of Lucille into Ava’s stomach, the move knocking the wind out of her as the machete clattered to the ground. However, before she hit the floor, a pair of arms linked under her armpits and fell backwards into a new area. It wasn’t until she heard the slam of the door when she realized Gabriel had pulled her into a small storage unit.

“What the hell was that?” The Priest asked in a hushed whisper.

Ava glared, “I had a plan.”

“I still do.”

“Yeah, you’ve been on a roll today.”

 Gabriel sighed, and Ava just shook her head. If it wasn’t for him running to save Gregory, they wouldn’t even be in here in the first place. He pursed his lips.

“I know, and I’m sorry.” He admitted, “But…if you let me do this, I’ll make it right.”

Maybe it was the dead scratching at the walls, or the fact that she was willing to do whatever it takes to see her family again, but Ava sat back and watched the Priest at work.

* * *

 

_“My first wife was a real wife.” Negan began, only a short moment after Gabriel’s own confession. “’Til death did us part – I lied to her, screwed around on her. She was sick, and when she went, it was during this….I couldn’t put her down.”_

Ava leaned against the closet door, eyes closed as she listened to Negan’s words – how his voice shook with emotion. It wasn’t something one could fake. It was a reminder that the man behind the door wasn’t the ‘boogie-man’ he marketed himself to be – he was a human being. And that terrified her. 

“That is how I was weak.” Negan continued, “That is what I’ll confess, because yeah, maybe we do bite the big one here.”

Once he went silent, Gabriel tapped Ava’s knee. She looked towards him, realizing that he was waiting for her go ahead. Gabriel believed Negan, but he wasn’t about to open the door with Ava thought it wasn’t safe. To his surprise – and relief – Ava nodded before standing up and opening the door. Negan didn’t move when the pair came back into his view – and Ava pretended not to notice the unshed tears still within his eyes.

“You’re forgiven.”

With the neutral expression still on his face, Negan delivered a swift punch to the Priest’s face. Ava only flinched a bit – knowing if Gabriel had gotten the same out of her, she may have done worst.

“Thanks, you can keep your gun.”

His eyes then went to Ava, and it was then she noticed the machete in his hand, now coated in Walker blood. Her eyes went to the dead one behind them, no doubt the man taking out his aggression on almost getting killed. He held it up, almost mockingly in her face.

“Can I trust you with this?” Negan asked, voice deadly serious, “No ‘stabby-stabs’?”

Although it was tempting, Ava almost felt like it would be cheating to do such thing after the man bared his soul.

“The fact that you just said ‘stabby-stabs’ will make this so much harder, but I’ll consider this a temporary truce.” The corner of her mouth quirked up slightly as she iterated, “Temporary.”

With his own amused expression, Negan passed the weapon back to her. Ava accepted it, watching as he walked towards a dead walker on the ground, kneeling beside it. He examined it for a moment before looking up at the pair, and Ava knew what he was going to say before the words even left his mouth.

“Ya’ll ever done this trick with the guts before?”

Ava nodded, making her way to the body as well. She and Gabriel may have done it in Alexandria, but she couldn't help but think of the first time she realized the trick worked. She got on her knees, getting to work on cutting the body open. A machete would work quicker than Negan's bat, and the leader seemed to accept that as he scooted away.

“It was by accident.” Ava admitted as she sliced the walker down from its torso to its groin, “Enid and I were still on the road, covered in this shit for the longest time. The dead didn’t bother us.”

Negan shook his head, scrunching up his nose slightly. “Bet the living didn’t bother with ya’ll, either.”

Ava couldn’t stop the air of laughter that escaped her throat. Stretching out the stomach slightly, Ava picked out a handful of guts, rubbing it over her shirt. She then faced the boys, gesturing towards the body.

“Dig in.”

* * *

 

Ava peaked out the blinds, surveying the courtyard. It was fuller than she remembered, the dead still making their way to the trailer as if they were telling each other about the delectable flesh inside. She hoped the smeared guts on them would be enough to keep the fight at bay – if the smell was any indication, Ava had a feeling that they were going to be just fine.

After a simply nod, the trio began banging against the walls – Negan and Gabriel yelled, making the hands against the door smack louder. Ava wrapped her hand around the doorknob, and with a flourish, she opened the door, welcoming the dead inside. She stood stoic next to Gabriel as they allowed the dead ones to filter inside.

Carefully, Ava followed Negan down the stairs of the trailer and back to the outside world. With both hands wrapped around the handle of her machete, she did her best to not walk too fast – she thought about the last time she did this, with Rick, Carl, Michonne, and Jesse. They had locked hands, not wanting to lose anyone as Alexandria became overrun.

Who knew those would be simpler times?  

The sound of a body hitting the floor made Ava turn around. She swallowed a gasp when she saw Gabriel laying on his side, gun still clenched in his hands. She slowly turned around, making his way back towards him. She could feel the milky eyes on the dead on her, and Ava tried her best to be sneaky as she slightly lowered herself to help the Priest up.

He took one of her hands, but instead of standing up, he brought her closer to him.

“You need to make a run for it.” He whispered.

Ava blinked, knowing what he was implying. They both couldn’t end up in the Sanctuary, one of them had to get back to Rick, but Ava didn’t understand why it had to be one. Negan was still close, but it wasn’t as if he could stop them.

 “We can both make it.”

“Not in a herd this thick.” Gabriel shot back, “There’s something I have to do.”

Ava was about to question him when Gabriel suddenly shot his gun at a close Walker. The shot alerted the rest of the dead, and Ava was quick to help the Priest up to his feet before getting pushed by him into the opposite direction. Her heart sped up, watching as he continued to fight off the dead. She beheaded a few coming their way, turning around one last time to look at the Priest.

He wasn’t having it, his focus on pulling the trigger.

“Don’t look back!”

Ava didn’t have a choice as she began slashing at the dead, clearing a path as she ran in the direction of where she came. Blood and rotten residue caked her face as she took the dead out one by one, but she didn’t care. Ava didn’t care when she heard Negan curse loudly at her, or when she heard Gabriel get grabbed by him to be pulled through the crowd.

All she cared about were the Virginia woods that were quickly coming into her view.


	3. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava tries to find a way home while Enid tries to find a way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! I'm not dead! 
> 
> Sorry for the filler chapter, but we're about to pop off.

_“It’s not like we haven’t fought before, we’ve fought every step of the way to this place. To this moment.”_

Although they didn’t speak, Enid could hear them outside the walls. Some slept while others cried, worried about their fate.

She never expected the Saviors to be afraid – they never had to be when they were the predator, but now they were being plucked off. She imagined the relief they felt when Jesus accepted their surrender only to have it stripped away when Maggie demanded that they stay outside the Community.

While Gregory encouraged a mass execution, it was Jesus that got to Maggie. What message would they be sending if they killed people who surrendered? Who laid down their weapons? Enid was glad she didn’t have to make the decision – all she knew that whatever Maggie chose, she would support her.

It wasn’t long until a few cars road through the gates, carrying what was left of the Hilltop’s army. Although she spotted a few wounds among the fighters, Enid was relieved to see that the Community didn’t lose too many people. It was when she was helping a few to the medical trailers when a familiar voice called her name.

Aaron made his way towards her, and Enid could see the sorrow in his eyes from her spot. He arrived at Hilltop with the others, carrying Rick’s update in one hand and a baby in his arms. She was in a Savior Outpost they were raiding, but she wasn’t a Savior. She was his now – a purpose. With Eric taken from him so quickly, he needed a reason to stay alive. 

“Have you heard anything?”

Enid didn’t need clarification. The news of Ava’s absence traveled quickly, even faster than usual since Enid started asking some of the new arrivals if they had caught sight of her. As she feared, no one was able to confirm if she made it out of the Sanctuary alive.

“No.” Her answer was clipped, before shaking her head. “All this planning made me think things were going to be okay, you know?”

“They will be.” Aaron reassured, “Plans change, but people don’t.”

Enid nodded – Ava’s circumstances may have changed, but she still had her heart – just like Eric had his in the end. Enid felt like an idiot. Aaron had just lost a loved one, held him in his arms, and yet he was trying to make her feel better.

“Eric didn’t change in the end.” It was Enid’s turn, “He’s the reason why we’re winning this.”

Aaron didn’t say a word, only nodding. He wasn’t ready to talk deeply about the man. Enid wasn’t going to force it out of him, she just hoped he wouldn’t fold within himself. She walked over to him, laying a soft touch on his arm.

“I haven’t met Gracie yet.”

A sad smile overcame his features, and Enid couldn’t help but give a small smile back as he led them to the Barrington House.

If Aaron needed the distraction, Enid was willing to give it to him. Besides, she needed one, too.

* * *

 

_"You just get back?” Tara asked as she stepped out onto her porch._

_“Yeah.” Daryl walked towards her, “I was looking for you.”_

_“I was looking for you, too.” Tara nodded, “I know what you said, but after this, I’m going to kill Dwight. It has to be me.”_

_Daryl nodded, hoping she would say that. They both wanted to kill Dwight, and Tara deserved to take a blow at the man who killed Denise, but Daryl wanted something more. He wanted Ava out of the Sanctuary. He knew she was in there, and he knew how to get her out._

_“Maybe we don’t got to wait so long.”_

Rotten eggs. That’s what Ava was sure she smelled like as she maneuvered her way through the woods. The harsh morning sun baked the guts on her clothes – her body – making her want to vomit. Or maybe it was the dehydration. She rested her hand against the trunk of a tree, taking a few moments to herself.

She was close to Alexandria, but it was hard to feel victorious when she knew Gabriel was far from free. He was alive but being with Negan was far from living. Ava told herself he had a plan – that was the only reason he would separate from her. He would be back in Alexandria tonight, after the surrender. After the war was finally over and they were free.

Ava kept her thoughts to what she needed to do. The minute she walked through Alexandria’s gates, she would get a Walkie and call Hilltop. She would tell Enid that the fighting was over, that she watched the Sanctuary become overrun, and all they would have to do is accept Negan’s surrender. Together.

* * *

 

_“Starting now we’ll keep the prisoners here.” Maggie announced as the Saviors were corralled into the pen. “We’ll feed them, we won’t mistreat them, but we won’t stand for anything less than total cooperation.”_

_Enid and Aaron watched as the Saviors walked willingly into the prison. Although she hated them with every fiber of her being, Enid was relieved that none of them had to die. Jesus was right – they had to be different than Negan for this new world to work. However, not everyone agreed._

_“Margert, with all due respect, we can’t let people we don’t trust run around inside our walls.”_

_“You’re right, Gregory.” Maggie’s tone was unwavering. “I know all about sheep and wolves.”_

_With that, Gregory was thrown into the pen, tears streaming down his face. Enid didn’t meet Jesus’ eyes as she looked down, hiding a smile._

The groans of the dead grew louder the closer Ava got to Alexandria. There were always a few stragglers just beyond the walls, attracted to the noise behind them. Despite her exhaustion, and the guts still doing their job, Ava took out the three that were going in her direction – the last thing they needed was for a herd to be drawn.

She heard more in the distance, just far enough to not be a problem – until a very human voice made her pause. 

“You don’t have to do this!”

That changed everything. Someone was in trouble, no doubt hurt if struggling against the dead. Ava groaned but ran in the direction of the voice. From the distance, she could see two figures fighting against walkers – one on the ground as a small group descended upon him. Getting closer, Ava caught sight of an unmistakable Sherriff’s hat.

She couldn’t help the curse underneath her breath, “God dammit.”

Ava picked up speed, a mix of fear and adrenaline making her exhausted legs run faster. With her machete tight in her hands, Ava sliced the head off the Walker that threatened to fall on top of Carl Grimes, the boy throwing the decapitated corpse aside before planting his knife to the one that was cozying up to his side.

She quickly turned to help the second person, pausing when she saw that the Stranger had already took down his own dead ones. His eyes met Ava’s, and she held her weapon up, standing in front of Carl.

“He’s okay.” Carl quickly defended, “He’s with me.”

Ava glared at the man before turning around to face Carl. Her eyes widened at the sight of his blood-soaked flannel and shaking form.

“Are you okay?” She questioned, walking towards him.

He settled his gaze on Ava, brows raised in shock, “The hell happened to you?”

Ava could tell he was avoiding the question. Enid was the same way when she was caught doing something she shouldn’t be, and Carl knew he wasn’t supposed to go beyond the walls during the war.

“Got in a tight spot, had to gut up.” She shrugged, not wanting to go into too much detail with the Stranger looming near. “You?”

“He was in a tight spot.” Carl nodded at the awkward man. “I’m taking him back with us.”

Ava finally got a good look at him. He looked about her age, almost thirty, with a disheveled appearance. He was out here for a long time – or that was what he wanted them to think.

“Were you with a group?” Ava questioned.

“Not for a long time.” He shook his head, “It was just me and my Mom…until it wasn’t.”

Ava frowned but didn’t show any more sympathy. She didn’t know if she could trust him, with everything going on, he could be a spy. Ava turned to Carl, her thoughts written all over her expression as the boy quickly got defensive.

“He’s my responsibility.”

“It’s not as simple as picking up a stray dog, Carl.” Ava didn’t spare the man’s feelings, “There’s too much at stake right now.”

Carl shook his head, “Then why did you come to help? It wasn’t me you heard.”

Ava pursed her lips. He was right. She was coming to help a stranger, and Carl just happened to be a part of it.

“I don’t want to make any trouble.” The man interjected, “If your group doesn’t want anything to do with me...”

“Maybe they don’t.” Carl interrupted, his eyes settling on Ava. “But sometimes kids have to find their own way, to show the adults the way.”

Ava deflated as Carl walked past the pair, expecting them to follow. She ran a hand down her face, suddenly feeling even more exhausted than before. She turned back to the Stranger, his eyes wide and unwavering. He was waiting for Ava to make the final call.

“You can come back with us.” Ava was calm, somewhat collected. “But it’s not up to him, or even me, if you can stay.”

“I’ll accept whatever the final decision is.” He promised, “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

Ava sheathed her machete, knowing she wouldn’t need it for the rest of the walk back. Despite her reluctance, Carl was a good judge of character – he just had a problem with timing. She gestured for him to follow her, the man keeping a good distance between them.

“I’m Ava.”

“Siddiq.”

“Well, Siddiq.” Ava began, “I don’t want to hurt anyone either, but I will if it means protecting my family.”

Siddiq understood the message – one wrong step, and Ava would make sure that whoever made the decisions wouldn’t even get a chance to meet him.

“You don’t have to worry about hurting me.”

Ava kept her gaze locked on Carl, the boy waiting for them to catch up. Worry pooled in her stomach, hoping she made the right call for Siddiq to tag along – if she didn’t, Ava hoped Rick would. Keeping Carl from hearing her next words, Ava kept her voice low.

“We’ll see.”  

* * *

 

_The truck came to a soft stop as Daryl gently pressed the brake. Taking out a pair of binoculars, he gazed through the magnifiers. The Sanctuary was surrounded, the dead pressed up against every entrance and window. His happiness was short-lived – Ava was most likely in there, once again trapped under Negan’s boot while Daryl was free._

_“Here.” He quickly passed the binoculars to Michonne, doing his best to quell his anger. “You wanted to see it.”_

_Michonne examined the area before nodding, relieved that the plan seemed to be working. Rosita spoke as she took her own look._

_“What do you need us for?”_

_“To end this thing.” He turned on the engine, “Right now.”_

“I keep forgetting he’s gone.”

Enid kept her head down as Aaron spoke to Maggie, the leader holding Gracie tightly in her arms. It was the first time the man really communicated his grief, and neither of the women were going to interrupt him.

“I have this…weight.” Aaron continued, voice low. “There’s moments that I think I’ll see him – but then my mind catches up, and I remember that the pain is know that I’ll never have him again.”

Maggie nodded, “I know that feeling.”

Enid knew the feeling as well. After her parents died, there was always that few second window when she woke up in the morning where she thought they were still alive. It disappeared as quickly as it came – the first few times truly made her feel as if her heart was torn open, and Ava would have to hold her as she cried. That was before she became closed off, thinking that feeling nothing was better than pain.

As she looked the window, to the sunset, Enid knew she couldn’t go through that again and come out alive. If Ava was her rock for that time, who would be there for her if she was gone?

“What do you do?” Enid asked, voicing her thoughts. “Does it get easier?”

“No.” Maggie frowned, “But it does help to do something about it.”

Aaron gave a small nod before leaving the office. Enid followed him with her gaze before getting up and meeting him outside. She paused on the steps of the Barrington House, watching as he went towards the car he came in. She briskly made her way down the stairs, meeting him halfway.

“Where are you going?”

He sighed, leaning on the open door. “To make sure we win.”

It was more than that – he wanted to make sure Eric didn’t die in vain, and that wouldn’t happen if they found reinforcements. Just like Enid, he wanted to do ‘something’.

“Let me come with you.” Before his deflated expression reached his eyes, Enid put a hand out. “I can’t sit around here anymore while others fight. They need us.”

Ava needed them – Enid could feel it. She wasn’t about to go to the Sanctuary, but if she and Aaron were on the same page, she knew a place where they could find the firepower to get there. Aaron’s jaw clenched, and Enid was about to force herself into the car when he spoke.

“Grab your stuff – and some food.” He instructed, “We might be gone for a while.”

Enid ran back towards the Barrington House, afraid he may still leave without her. However, his voice made her pause.

“And leave Ava a note, at least.” Aaron suggested, a bit of lightness in his tone. “When she gets back and hears that you’re missing, she’ll go nuts.”

Enid mirrored his soft smile and nodded before running back to the house.  She didn’t know if Ava was still out there, but if she was, it was time for Enid to fight for her.

* * *

 

_“This – what we’re about to do?” Michonne finally turned away from the Sanctuary to face Daryl, “It’s not worth risking us.”_

_Daryl clutched tighter onto the steering wheel. After Rosita backed out in favor of Rick’s plan, the air in the cab had shifted. – as if Daryl knew that Michonne wouldn’t be far behind. And maybe they were right – this could be a mistake. However, he didn’t see it that way. The mistake would be not to try, to leave Negan alive another day. To leave Ava behind those walls when he was so close would be the tragedy._

_“It is for me.” He finally looked to her, “It just is.”_

_Despite the disappointment on her face, Michonne understood. With a friendly pat to the shoulder, she climbed out of the truck and closed the door behind her, leaving Daryl with the weight of his own decision._

The gate seemed to open the moment Ava came into view, the woman grateful that no one stopped her for a small talk – she was sure that her appearance did all the talking for her. Ava did stop to talk to Toby, telling the gatekeeper about Gabriel’s situation, knowing that he would be the one who made sure the report got to Rick.

As he wrote down his notes, Ava found her gaze wandering around Alexandria. Despite the raging war, it looked like any other day in the community – kids playing, people tending to crops. However, the activities of the day weren’t the only details she was taking note.

“Daryl was here for a short while, but he headed back out.”

She looked away from the community to see Toby giving her a knowing smile. Ava nodded, only hoping that Daryl wasn’t getting into too much trouble.

“Anyone else?”

“Michonne and Tara left with him.” Toby paused in thought, “I think Rosita as well.”

 It was an odd group to leave– especially when Michonne was supposed to stay behind. She hoped that they were still close by, maybe just taking out frustrations on Walkers. That’s what she told herself instead of the truth.

“When they come through, can you let them know I’m here?”

“Of course.” Toby nodded, “I’ll also relay to the Hilltop that you’re back.”

Ava smiled, relieved that Enid would hear of her return before they saw each other in person at the surrender in the evening. Maybe she could get on a radio and speak to Enid before night fall – but first, Ava needed to be human again.

 After thanking Toby, Ava made her way back towards her home. She was only halfway there when Carl began walking in stride next to her, the boy staring straight ahead as Ava did the same.

“Is he in?” Ava asked, keeping her expression mutual.

“Yup.”

She pursed her lips. Ava still didn’t know how to feel about letting Carl smuggle an outsider into Alexandria. Granted, Siddiq did seem harmless the more he spoke on their way home, but that could change. Ava knew better than to fall for a charming smile and easy conversation.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Ava said as she began to walk up her porch steps.

“Don’t worry, I do.”

However, as Ava looked at him one last time, she couldn’t help but notice how frazzled Carl appeared. Although he projected confidence in his decision, Ava noticed a little bit of a crazed look in his eyes. Her older sibling instincts kicked into high gear.

“Do you want to come in and cool off?” She asked, trying not to let worry drip in her voice. “I was going to make some lunch before –.”

“Thanks, but I better get back to Judith.” Carl cut her off, smiling. “Lord knows Tabitha could use a break.”

The smile was strained, forced, but Ava didn’t pry. It was a stressful day for everyone, but Ava knew Carl was feeling it a bit more – especially with Siddiq in the picture. Instead, she offered a gentle smile and nod.

“Alright, well, you know where to find me.”

With one last nod, Carl made his way back to the street, leaving Ava in a cloud of confusion and concern.

 

**Author's Note:**

> WE'RE BACK, YA'LL! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
> 
> Updates may be a little rocky until holiday break, but I can't wait for you guys to see what I have in store! Thanks for reading!


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